i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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