i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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