but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
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Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
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I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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