I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I woke up under a house in Key West
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