i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
