Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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