Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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