I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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