How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
