im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
