u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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