I cockslap morals
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
