i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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