she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
