I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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