What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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