If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
