i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize