I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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