yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
