Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize