i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
