At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
