so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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