I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
