let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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