well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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