I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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