I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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