i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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