Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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