Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
