it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize