I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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