She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
