It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
