I just pynch a tree in the face
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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