Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize