so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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