i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize