She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
