Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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