So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that