Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
