I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I am naked and annoyed.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
