He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
