I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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