I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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