How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
