Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
