I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
