The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
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And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
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I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize