The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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