Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
