Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
