u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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