I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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