with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
