what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize