Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize