I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm getting married
To pizza
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize