I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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